More than one million people commit suicide every year. They might be our friends, family members or partners and they never announce they decided to kill themselves. The suicide victims could be scientists, engineers, artists, philosophers and almost each member of our society and is not related to the level of their education or cultures. A suicidal person may not ask for help, but doesn’t mean that help isn’t wanted. Most of them don’t want to die—they just want to stop the pain. They can be easily saved and brought back to life. But unfortunately I lost one of my friend during my studies at university which shocked all of us. I described the brief story about him later on. We could not believe he did that, easily, and alone. After that all of us have been feeling guilty until now. We knew he was suffering from a deep depression . But to end his life was never crossed our mind. And now all we know is regret. Regret of not having believe the suicide signs and having left him alone. But it happened and he would never come back.
After many years I decided to make a movie about suicide with the intention to wake up the society about this fact and to highlight this vital that preventing suicide can save millions of lives. The story is about a girl who is sick of life and wanted to commit suicide. But she believes suicide is too much to accept for her friends, then she decides to make herself ill and then commit suicide. So her friends might say she was sick and then died. The movie is inspired from a short story written by sadegh hedayat, a very famous Iranian writer, who himself committed suicide and end his life almost the same way the girl did in the movie. So the script of the movie is a true story of his confused and sucisidal mind and not just a text from a novelist. The intention of our movie is to make the society more aware for this topic and to remind everybody to have an open ear for the sorrows and problems of their fellow men and by doing so, to detect and prevent any suicidal intentions. The production of the movie is now finished and we are at the post production stage. The movie will be released in 4 different languages and we want to screen it for free in public in the United States, Europe, Asia and Middle East.
The story of my friend:
I had a friend name Saeed. He was smart, healthy, talkative and younger than me. Sometimes he was smoking and I remember that he had a collection of empty pockets of cigarette (Winston) in his small house in Lahijan, which was exactly near to the university and where you could hardly found an empty room to rent. Also he had sticked the picture of a pretty girl on his wall and he introduced it as his girlfriend to us. It was obvious from his story when he was usually telling to us about this girl that he was living in his thoughts with that girl. We all knew that he came from an open minded family and he was the only son whose mother passed away when he was a small child. His little house in Lahijan, with fridge and toilet on the balcony, had a messy garden where we sometimes played volleyball. We used to go to his house in our break regularly. Also I remember that he used to drink milk every day. He told me of his fear about the poison of cigarettes and he believed that milk is eliminating the bad effects of cigarettes. All of us knew that he loves one of our classmates named Masoume and he gave her a nickname called Memol and we were making fun about that. Since I was a bit older than my classmate he found it useful to come to me and get my advice about how he could get closer to that girl and speak to her. I always tried to give him the right advice, but he scared a lot. Because another classmate also showed his tendency to that girl and he was a local guy from that city and more experienced. Saeed always had the fear that he is going to reach the girl sooner than he. I remember we had many argument with each other and I was always trying to make him relax about this issue. I even went to that guy and I warned him to forget the girl, because Saeed was suffering from a lack of emotion, since he raised without a mother and somehow the girl was like a mother for him, but the other guy he was stubborn about her and did not accept what I was asking from him.
It was after English grammar which he decided to eventually talk to the girl. Once the class finished all student got out from the class and Memol as well. Saeed reached to her a minute later and all of us were watching him talking to that girl. It seems everything is all right because they were talking very relax and they walked almost a long distance. Saeed never told me what he said to her and what she replied, he just said that he needs to talk more to her and it would take time. But I could see him a bit disappointed. After that day they met each other more and all of us were thinking that they become good.
Many times I invited him to come to my place to have a dinner but he was always giving me an excuse to refuse that, till one Friday he accepted my invitation. After dinner we took a walk near to my house which was close to the tea mountains and tea factories, the smell of tea was really pleasurable. He felt himself a bit closer to me and started to talk about Sadegh Hedayat and his opinion about death and love. I almost forgot our conversation, but I just remember one thing which he said. He believed that the real love is such a love which lovers could not reach to each other, if meeting was happened, this joint of togetherness thought might destroy love. He was talking very emotionally and he also said some poems of his old Shamloo book which he always kept with himself.
Time passed and after one year my father passed away and Saeed called me to say his apologize that he could not participate in my father ceremony. After one week we noticed that he tore up his vein and committed suicide, exactly eight days after my father died. They accidently buried him five graves upper my father’s grave and until now when I want to go to visit my father I also visit him.
We never understood why he got this decision to finish his life. His family did not gave us the right information about his last days. We just know that he had problems with his father and they could tolerate each other. They just told us Saeed wrote a paper in which he mentioned the name of that girl and that he had some telephone contact with her at his last days, but they never showed us that paper.
I remember one day Saeed came to me and he told me that he quit smoking and from now he is going to gym every day. Nobody could believe that he is able to kill himself, because he easily could scare from things. I always had this question what was that power which lead him to kill himself. Maybe he was inspired by Sadegh Hedayat’s stories. After many years when I read the story of Buried Alive I got my answer for death. That’s why I decided to make short Film Buried Alive for those who have question about these people. Sadegh Hedayat bravely mentions his thoughts about his life, even he is not pointing exactly on his own life, but we can see the trustworthy in his pen. He killed himself as he really liked to finish his life and as he is saying that at his last notes.
“Now I am neither living nor sleeping. Nothing pleases me and nothing bothers me. I have become acquainted with death, used to it. It is my only friend. It is the only thing which heartens me.” from the short Film Buried Alive from Reza Khodamehri
Why I Made The Short Film Buried Alive